Clearing Clutter Stuff

Last weekend, my husband went to North Carolina to attend a business meeting and to ski. Our house is about a 6 hour drive.

I had a decision to make. To join my husband or to stay here in South Carolina where I could continue my nesting process -- unpacking boxes from my apartment in New York, rearranging furniture in the house and creating that sense of home for us. (Here's my office, where I've been sorting through boxes and papers! Can't believe I'm showing you this!) It seems like just as I'm about to get into a rhythm here in the Lowcountry I launch off somewhere else-- to New York or elsewhere. This feels disruptive to my settling in and establishing rhythms.

As a newlywed, I don't like being away from my husband. After all, it took me a half a lifetime to find him. And, we have so much fun together -- on an hourly basis -- that I miss the laughter and lightness when he's not here. I also LOVE to snowski, and I knew the weather reports were for about a foot of snow in the North Carolina mountains. It's so romantic to be in our NC house with the fireplace blazing, the snow falling, and sitting in the overstuffed leather chairs that face the floor to ceiling windows that look out over the valley and the mountains in the distance. Ahhhhh....

That house has a special resonance for me because it was in that house that Landon and I really started falling in love as it was a rendez-vous place during our courtship, a convenient location between New York and South Carolina. But, at some level, I knew that it just felt right to stay in our South Carolina house so that I could create order in our home, especially in my office. I still had 7 boxes of papers that I brought from New York that had to be sorted and filed or tossed so that I can really start building my business from a clean platform. There was a symmetry to our decision. My husband got to spend time going through 'stuff" and recreating space in the mountains as I went through my "stuff" in the Lowcountry.

Going through stuff connects you to memories of the past -- what you did, what you didn't do, the decisions you made. the things that were important to you. I went through pictures, laughed when I saw the big hair and shoulder pads of the 80's and smiled when I went through all of the family shots. I kept a lot of those. Going through stuff inspires you to consider the things you saved, to think of the reasons behind why you held onto something, and sometimes to realize that you have outgrown the need to save something that used to be precious but now is not.

Going through stuff helps you to get perspective on life's journey. It gives you a snapshot of your past -- in the context of the present. It gives you a sense of how you have grown and changed and evolved and transformed.

Going through papers led to mixed emotions. There were the half-written articles, the unfinished books, the coaching program I had planned to do but didn't. Lot's of unfinished work. Why, I wondered? I was filled with a sense of regret that I didn't bring more things to completion, but then was reminded by how much I did accomplish -- the consulting project with the British Film Association, the long-term coaching of a CEO, my first telesummit event. I finished all of those projects. And, then I realized that the only unfinished projects that I had were the ones where I was exercising my creativity, sharing my insights and theories about the workplace. Was I afraid to put them out in public for the world to see? I'm looking forward to bringing them into being now. Because now is the time.

That clearing process was cathartic. It brought me in touch with where I have invested my energy in the last 10 years, where I diverted energy, and where I would like to place my energy going forward. Now I can make a decision to bring some of these creative projects forward, if I want to and if it seems right. I'll finish some of those articles and maybe complete a book or two.

Making decisions about what to keep and what to toss is empowering because you get to choose what is important, what to clear away and that process of conscious elimination brings clarity. You get to decide what is important in your life. You get to decide what you need to move you forward. You get to decide what to strip away that is holding you back. You get to streamline and bring into focus all of those things that will impel you forward. You get to decide.

And, that is empowering.