Last week, I went to visit my parents in Chicago.
(BTW, in case you were wondering, this is a picture of the stuffed animals that greeted me in the guest room of my sister's house, where I stayed.)
I miss my parents.
It was strange this summer to go to New Hampshire and stay at the family cabin -- without them. For most of my lifetime, that was our family pattern.
This year it was different. My parents were unable to go.
I was used to seeing them often when I lived in New York. They lived only 30 miles away in Connecticut and it was easy to visit. Even after I was married, I travelled to New York monthly and could check in with them. In May, they moved to Chicago to be closer to my sister and her children and to live in an environment where they could receive more care.
So, it's been a process of letting go of old patterns and reaching forward to create new experiences. There is sadness and wistfulness associated with the letting go. But, I know that to ease that I can look forward, with excitement, to the new experiences that can be created when the old patterns go away.
My parents are living in an independent living facility, which is full of vibrant and caring people. They have already made friends. Both of my parents need care right now, and I'm happy to know that they are receiving a very high level of care and are safe. It's a HUGE relief.
My parents are in the process of recreating their lives. I've told them that they have a choice: either they can measure every new experience against what they've known and what feels familiar, or they can decide to be happy and look for reasons to support that state of mind. I recommend the second option.
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