Ride 'N Dine Tonight

Tonight is the Brays Island Ride 'N Dine. I'm more "dine" than "ride" these days, but I'd like to change that. Just this morning I spoke to Jim at the Equestrian Center about starting my riding lessons again. I haven't been on a horse since the end of January. Think the ladies at Brays are giving up on me?!

My husband will ride Comet, the Wonder Horse. Isn't he a cutie? (I meant my husband, of course.) :o)

Comet is a Marsh Tacky, a type of indigenous horse that ran wild on plantations down here in South Carolina for centuries. Marsh Tackies can actually trace their bloodlines back to Spain and have their origins in the 16th century when Spanish colonists sailed to new lands with ships full of animals and supplies, which they would unload on islands to be used for provender for the next trip. They had a different logistical long-term planning approach from the English settlers who preferred to take with them what they needed for that trip.

The Marsh Tacky horse has been an endangered species, there are less than 200 left in this country. You can read all about them here: http://www.marshtacky.org/

Qualities or traits of a marsh tacky? According to the website, Marsh Tacky horses are "excellent on trails, sure-footed and swamp-savvy " Alligators don't spook them. The heat doesn't bother them. They know how to forage on grasses down here.

My husband selected his horse from a group of wild horses that used to run on a plantation down here in the Lowcountry. When he was a little boy, he used to climb up a fence and then onto the back of his childhood horse and together they would ride bareback down the deserted beaches and into the rivers, where his horse would roll over onto her side, while my husband, as a boy, would scamper off her back to sit on her other side so that she could scissor-kick and propel them both to the other side. Marsh Tacky horses can swim!

Hopefully, that won't be necessary tonight.

BTW, have I told you that in the last 3 times that my husband has ridden Comet, he has bucked? What do you think Comet is trying to tell my husband? Please offer your comments in the section below...

Valentine's Day!

This was our first Valentine's Day together...and my first as a non-single person. (When you are single, and especially when you are not in a relationship, Valentine's Day can be brutal, happy couples everywhere, where even dysfunctional couples feign happiness.)

We went to a really fun party. The idea was that everyone who attended would bring a poem, a song or a toast about love to share with the group. Here are some goodies from the party...don't they look fun?

It felt so special -- the house was decorated (we even had Valentine heart toilet paper in the bathroom!), fire roaring, people wearing red, delicious food, it was all so festive.

The first speech was the story about how one couple met. Then we had a poem, a song, lots of poems ranging from a poet from the Low Country to a 17th century metaphysical poet! One of the ladies wanted all of us gals to sing and dance to "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," which we did.

Landon and I danced to the Bobby Darin song MORE, which was our wedding dance, while my computer faintly put out the music and the guests tried to sing along. Landon played the guitar and sang a song which, when he sings it to me, always makes me cry. (What he didn't tell the group was that he added a verse to the song, the last verse, which he wrote for me, while on an airplane taking him to meet up with me on our first public "date," which happened to be his sister's memorial service in Boston. Landon and I have had a lot of "loss" to navigate in our relationship, but it's only made us stronger.) It was down to the final guest -- the guys at the table were teasing the last person yet to speak saying, "Wow. That's a tough act to follow. What do you have?" That's when he spoke poignantly and openly about his relationship with his wife, speaking straight from the heart, which ended up being one of the most courageous and moving sharings of the evening.

My first Valentine's Day was a winner! The best part was spending the whole day with Landon -- we had a blast -- and culminating in that very special evening with very special people. I am grateful. And, I feel SO loved.

Our Wedding Song

Thought you'd like to see the lyrics from the song we danced to at our wedding...

MORE
...Sung by Bobby Darin and written by Ortolani/Newell/Oliviero

More than the greatest love the world has known
This is the love that I give to you alone
More than the simple words I try to say
I only live to love you more each day.

More than you'll ever know
My arms long to hold you so
My life will be in your keeping
Waking, sleeping, laughing, weeping.

Longer than always is a long, long time
But far beyond forever, you'll be mine
I know I never lived before
And my heart is very sure
No one else could love you more.

More than the greatest love the world has known
This is the love that I give to you alone
More than the simple words I try to say
I only live to love you more each day.

More than you'll ever know
My arms got to hold you so
My life will be in your keeping
Waking, sleeping, laughing, weeping.

Longer than always is a long, long, long time
But far beyond forever, you'll be mine
I know I never lived before
And my heart is very sure
No one else could love you more.

Valentine's Ball

Saturday night was the Beaufort Memorial Hospital Valentine Ball. Landon and I were to be guests of the Thompsons, an obstetrician/gynecologist and her anesthesiologist husband, who also happens to be a gourmet chef.

We looked great, me in my red strapless velvet gown and Landon in his tux. Gee, I hadn't seen him in his tux since our wedding. :o) Didn't he look great?

The food was beyond delicious -- Gary had carefully planned the meal, and before every course, gave a full description of what we would be eating, including the wine selection. We had fresh tuna appetizers; butternut squash soup with candied ginger; filet mignon (cooked to perfection) with a smoked cream sauce, gnocchi and beans. Yum. Boy, was it good!

By far, one of the high points of the evening was the woman who was sitting to my right. During the dinner, she told me her life story, how she was pre-med, not enjoying studies and contemplating life tethered to a "beeper," when the nurses in the hospital she was working in told her all about their Caribbean vacation at Club Med, how they went on a trapeze and how much fun it was, and how they thought, as a gymnast, she would love it. Well, she was so good at it that Club Med hired her to be part of a circus and she was one of the trapeze artists! She assured me that she was working with highly educated people, her fellow trapeze artist a fellow physics major, and that she traveled in style. After her boyfriend (who has since become her husband) approached her in the circus tent with 2 dozen roses and implored her to come home, she did...and started a clown school for kids. There, she taught the kids how to make up their faces, how to have pie throwing contests, and how to make up their parent's faces. Now she is a mom of 5, all of them under the age of 8. What a hoot!

So, to all of you Yankees out there who think that you can't meet interesting people in the South, I give you Exhibit A. People down here are interesting, open and friendly...and most of them are...characters.

Text Message From A Pig Stand...

Last night, while I was taking the commuter train from New York City to Connecticut, as I watched the tall lit-up buildings fade from sight, and moving over the East River, I received the following text message from my husband...

"Hey Baby, I'm sitting in the stand waiting for the pigs to show up. Just for hoots I thought I'd test u 2 tell u I luv u. XOXOXOXOxo"

Just an illustration of how far apart my two worlds can seem sometimes. The juxtaposition was hilarious!

I'm All Geared Up...

But, it’s not what you think.

Not I’m all geared up as I’m excited, but I have gear to do more activities that I could have conceived of. I’ve got horsebackriding year, skiing gear, motorcycle gear, deer hunting gear, kayaking gear, shrimping gear, oyster eating gear, and now fly fishing gear.

Be prepared, always prepared is the "Scouts" motto. Well, thanks to my husband, I'm ready...for anything. Being married to Landon is like being with my favorite camp counselor. There's always another activity around the corner! So much fun...

OMG -- I am the younger woman!

After we came home from Charleston, I wanted to catch up on my reading of the Sunday New York Times. I opened to the Business Section and that's when I saw it...

...the front page story and a picture of Ireland's best-known building developer, Sean Dunne and his wife. I looked at him and I looked at her and thought: "Wow. Another successful guy who marries a younger woman. How pathetic." And, that's when I realized --

I am the younger woman.

It's true. I married a man who is a number of years older than I. Well, chronologically speaking that is, because everyone who knows him, knows that he is really 10, going on __. (He did wear an M&M coat last night!) But, then again, so am I. That's why we get on so well together. :o) He'll be unhappy that I wrote this, but I believe the secret to life is to remain young at heart and wise in the spirit. That's what I meant by being 10. He's young at heart! And, wise in spirit.

And, I know that there are many people who look at me that way -- the younger woman who married the older guy. Of course, there are lots of assumptions that go along with that caricature. He's having a mid-life crisis, she's a gold-digger, he wants a trophy wife (I flatter myself!) and she wants an older, successful man, he has emotional issues, she has "Daddy-figure" issues. I know these things because that's what I've thought about others, not even consciously, but subconsciously these thoughts are triggered in my mind.

I have been critical of couples where there seems to be a large age difference. Instead of seeking to understand the relationship, I have had an almost instinctive response that something isn't quite right, that it isn't normal, that to be normal, people need to couple with others in their own age group, and on and on and on.

And, now here I am. The object of that criticism...for some. I want these people to know that have compassion for this way of thinking. I understand the desire to want to categorize me and my relationship with Landon as simply a May-December coupling, to put it into a neat box, to attach an interpretation to our outward projection, rather than to seek to find what unites us.

Because the truth is, Landon is the love of my life. Completely, absolutely. We are so perfectly matched to each other, I have to pinch myself sometimes. Our sense of commitment and unconditional love for one another is almost ethereal, other-worldly, like that of an unrequited love that spanned generations only to be blessed by finding each other in this lifetime. I cherish every moment with him and thank that Higher Power for bringing us together. "Yea", sing the angels, "they have found each other."

Some people get that. Like the kind man who sat to my right at dinner last night, who has a different heritage, who is a generation apart, yet he perceives the depth of our love for each other. Because he seeks to understand, without judgment. Would that we all could do that. To look beneath the surface exterior, the superficial packaging, to find what's within, one's thinking, values, character, essence, divine being. To take the time to find the truth.

Others don't get it. I know there are people who can't understand our marriage or who don't want to. Actually, many of them can't see me. For some reason, it seems to be more the case with men than with women. Maybe that's because at least women have being a woman in common. I think to these guys I seem like some out-of-space alien creature, with a different worldview, from a strange planet. They avoid eye contact, they don't know what to say, they feel uncomfortable around me.

Is it because I'm attractive? Because I'm smart? Because being pretty and smart is intimidating? Because their wives would give them a difficult time at home because they were talking to the attractive "new thing" on the block? No, I don't think so. I think that they are intrinsically uncomfortable trying to find a point of connection with someone that they perceive to be so far from how they view themselves that they are unwilling to come out of their safe containers, their habitual thoughtplaces, their cerebral boxes, to entertain the possibility of seeing and experiencing something else, something outside of their comfort zone. Why? Because being confronted with a different world perspective might challenge their own assumptions and alter the safe haven of thought they live within. And, that, my friend, can be terrifying. I understand.

Being the younger woman has taught me many things, not the least of which is that chronological age means nothing. I know people my age who think like old people, stubborn, inflexible and rigid in thought, and I have friends who are considered elderly (at age 101) but who remain curious, flexible, inquisitive, playful, open-minded and fun. Where I live, people tend to be retired and older, but there are so many who are vital, active and strong that I feel they are my peers, without a trace of age, and I can't wait to share many moments of fun with them.

Remember, you are as old as you think. Literally.

Fishing

Two weeks ago, my husband and I visited some of our land in North Carolina in the Bethel Valley and on the property is a beautiful small trout stream. Since he LOVES to flyfish, he jumped out of the car and said that he wanted to take a couple of casts before we moved on to our next activity. Well, you know what happens if you try to rush? Take a look... :o)

Magazine Fever

If it is true you are what you read, I'd like to introduce my husband to you. In the last 48 hours, these are the following magazines that have been delivered to our home:

The Officer - (Reserve Officer Association)
Trout Unlimited
Aircraft Owner
Multifamily Executive - a real estate publication
The New Yorker
Bass Pro - for your hunting and fishing needs
Farmer Tek - it speaks for itself
Mensa -- The Magazine of American Mensa
Army Motors - Journel of the Military Vehicle Preservation Association
Business Week
Supply Lines - Publication of Military Vehicle Preservation Association

Meet Landon. He's one of a kind! :o)

My Husband "Took" The Monster

Around 7:45, he called. “I got the monster,” he said. "I just took a huge buck!"

I could hear the excitement in his voice. This was the one he had been waiting for.

He snapped a picture with his cell phone and sent it to me from the field. And, here it is…a massive 10 point!

For those of you who don't know, a 10 point refers to the number of points on a deer's antlers, commonly called a "rack." Here, on the sporting plantation where we live, you can only shoot a deer that is at least an 8 point, or one with 15 inches between the antlers. That means it is a mature deer, and one that can be "harvested."

Deer hunting is a HUGE part of the South. My husband waits all year for the opportunity to "take" a buck. "Take" is a euphemism for kill. (This northern city girl is still getting used to all this "taking.") This deer weighed 175 pounds, roughly the equivalent of two does, and will do much to replenish our meat coffers. You should see the size of our freezers. We'll have plenty of meat for me to cook up this winter! More on that in upcoming posts...

I'm so proud of my husband. He's a great provider. Of course, being a city girl, a great provider used to mean a guy who had a great job with a big salary so that we could pay the bills -- but down here, a great provider is a guy who has a great shot so that we can fill our tummies.