Monday, January 19, 2009

Proactive Waving

I’m getting the hang of this waving the hand at strangers thing. I call it the “proactive wave.”

One of the strangest, most inscrutable customs down here in the South is having to wave at everyone that drives by – whether you know them or not.

It drives me crazy.

I may sound crazy to you for saying that, but remember, I come from a town where it is practically a criminal offense to look someone in the eye, let alone hoisting up a body part as an acknowledgement of someone else’s existence.

Why should I have to wave at someone I know? Why should I wave at someone I don’t know? What if I don’t feel like waving? Maybe I’m just in a bad mood. Or maybe I’m praying as I walk down the street. Maybe I’m composing the Great American Novel in my head. Maybe I’m appreciating the beautiful scenery around me. Or maybe I just want to be in my own world of quiet reverie. A New Yorker, I am used to creating a protective cone of indifference around me. It’s not that I don’t like you. It’s that I need and want my protective space.

Why is it considered rude if I don’t wave? There are a million reasons I might not wave at you, and the least of which is that I want to send you a signal that I don’t like you. That would take way too much effort.

It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring you. How can I miss a pick up truck barreling down the road towards me? Or a Lexus SUV? Or a van? I SEE you.

And, another thing. Just a question for folks out there: do people really mean well when they pick up their hand to wave, or is it a developed habit devoid of meaning? I mean, are they really wishing me well or are they thinking “I wish she were dead” while waving and smiling and being “friendly like."

I have a lot to learn down here.

So, in order to deal with all of this friendly hand signaling, I have adopted a new behavior. If I even hear the sound of an engine behind me, I just instinctively raise up my hand and start shaking it back and forth. It feels good. They think I’m waving. They think I’m friendly.

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